Embracing the Messy Middle
There’s something so compelling about a good “before and after” story. The dramatic weight loss transformations all over social media, the success stories of companies seemingly 100x their valuation overnight, the neatly packaged narratives of triumph over adversity. But what about the in-between? The messy middle part where progress stalls, motivation wanes, and self-doubt creeps in?
That’s where the real magic happens.
At the start of last summer, we bought a small herb planter for the garden, mostly to grow a few soft herbs and chilli plants to cook with. We planted the seedlings, watered diligently and eagerly awaited the first signs of something to occur. We waited, and waited. My young daughter confused that to her eyes, literally nothing was happening day-after-day.
But growth isn’t linear. Some days you see visible progress, while others it seems nothing is happening at all for the effort you’re putting in. Despite the summer sunshine, occasional rainfall and daily attention, things remain dormant. Yet to our adult eyes, we know that beneath the surface, roots are hopefully deepening, strengthening, and preparing for future growth above soil.
Health and fitness share so many characteristics with the above. We start with enthusiasm, fuelled by that initial burst of motivation at what life could be if we make the changes we intend. We hit the gym religiously, meticulously track our calories and macronutrients, and eagerly anticipate the results to come. But then, life happens. We hit a plateau, an injury sidelines us, or old habits resurface. We question our abilities, our commitments, our very “why.”
Consider for a moment you’ve got a friend or loved-one running their very first Marathon. You’re desperate to support them in their efforts, so you go down to watch them. Where do you place yourself to offer them support?
Likely either the start or the finish-lines.
Very few people are going to position themselves at the 16 mile marker where your friend or loved-one is questioning what on earth convinced them this would be a good idea…
This is the messy middle, and it’s an inevitable part of any meaningful endeavour. It’s where we confront our limitations, test our resilience, and learn to navigate setbacks. It’s where we cultivate the determination that eventually leads us to our goals and crossing that finish line.
We’re conditioned to believe in linear progress. We see it in our education system, our career paths, our social media feeds. But life very rarely, if at all, unfolds in a straight line. There are constant twists and turns, ups and downs, and unexpected detours.
Health and fitness are no exceptions. Our bodies are complex systems, influenced by a multitude of factors - genetics, hormones, stress levels, sleep quality, calorie balance, and more. Progress is rarely consistent even under the perceived same circumstances, and setbacks are an inevitable part of the journey.
So instead of striving for perfection, embrace the messiness. Acknowledge there will be days where you do feel strong, motivated, energised, and others where you’ll feel discouraged, even defeated.
When we hit a roadblock, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism. We berate ourselves for perceived failures, compare ourselves to others with seemingly effortless success, and we lose sight of our own progress.
Embrace the ups and downs, the setbacks and plateaus. Celebrate your small victories, learn from your mistakes, and keep moving forward. Remember, as cliche as it sounds, the journey is just as important as the final destination. And the messy middle, is the part in which we often discover the most valuable lessons about who we are, and our capacity for growth.